The weather today morning was just awesome! As rightly mentioned by Pradnya (my friend at work)...in our company bus, it felt like we were going to a picnic..the only difference was the picnic spot was Lionbridge :D
The weather was just perfect for a day stroll along the marine drive or a beach. Which reminds me of marine drive..a 20 minute observation of the Queens necklace had put me to peace..ready to gobble some food at Gaylord. I sat on the Katta as we might call it facing the sea. The Mumbai skyline was a perfect symbolic representation of a metropolis. The waves came and lashed against the round custom-made stones..i always wondered on how much was spent just to get those ice-cream cone shaped stones made. Nevertheless, it added to the beauty.
The sea was so calm, quiet, save a for few lashing waves on the perfectly shaped stones. A part of it stretched as far as I could see. The waves further from the shore breathed slowly..as if a sea-god breathed inside. The waves though colored with the impurities of the city was a serene sight.
My back witnessed a contrasting buzz that owed its life to the city's lights and vrooms. @ 10:30 Mumbai did not seem ready to sleep..it only emphasized that the night was still young and a thousand things to be explored.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Lattice of memories..
A mind is an intensive web of thoughts. Each strand a thought. Some old, some new. The old ones weaker, the new ones stronger.
But still there are some really old ones that are stronger than the most recent ones. They are like the Banyan roots, older the deeper and deeper the stronger.
Like
the hug my mom gave me when I feared failing, the smell of the rains on my first day of school, the fresh feel of crisp new notebooks, the fragrance of Paarijaat flowers in the colony, the chaos of the lunch break bell and the silence of the statue bell, the sting of dettol on a fresh knee wound, the taste of ice-cream bought from saved paisas, the scoldings in KG for exploring the terrace, the pain in knees for kneel-down punishment, the night-out before an exam and drowsiness while writing the paper (:D), the anxiety in the last 10 minutes of an exam paper, the racing heart beats when the winning house was declared, the thrill of finding 20 paise in a raincoat pocket...
A brilliant lattice I feel like getting lost in.. :)
Alas, the new strands call forth..get set to make more such lattices..
But still there are some really old ones that are stronger than the most recent ones. They are like the Banyan roots, older the deeper and deeper the stronger.
Like
the hug my mom gave me when I feared failing, the smell of the rains on my first day of school, the fresh feel of crisp new notebooks, the fragrance of Paarijaat flowers in the colony, the chaos of the lunch break bell and the silence of the statue bell, the sting of dettol on a fresh knee wound, the taste of ice-cream bought from saved paisas, the scoldings in KG for exploring the terrace, the pain in knees for kneel-down punishment, the night-out before an exam and drowsiness while writing the paper (:D), the anxiety in the last 10 minutes of an exam paper, the racing heart beats when the winning house was declared, the thrill of finding 20 paise in a raincoat pocket...
A brilliant lattice I feel like getting lost in.. :)
Alas, the new strands call forth..get set to make more such lattices..
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Threadbare? Nah!
Apologies for writing after a week! This commitment thing is really demanding and takes away all your power if you don't keep it!
My head is filled with a lot of internal noise. I cannot distinguish it from the noise outside.
A lot of noise outside. A lot of strands snapping. Thread-strands that connect me to the various aspects of my life. Many of these are snapping. Each strand snaps one by one. With each snap, all the things that I love and take for granted are getting away from me and I am threatened with desertion. Friends, family, hobbies. Strand by strand, thread by thread, they're all getting weak.
One thread seems to be stronger, much stronger than the others... It seems to be taking up all the time. So much so that it is not a thread anymore, but has turned into a giant serpent that threatens to swallow me if I lose control. Sadly it is what gives me my roti and kapda (not yet makaan). So the 'need' to tame this giant.
I'd like to think of it as a huge thestral (black-winged creepy horse-like animals, again, if you had to read this to understand it, go scold yourself for not reading harry potter!) I have to ride and reach the skies! Cause I can't particularly ride a serpent right, it would be really funny! I'd sit on its neck and slide right down! And obviously the serpent wouldn't take it in a happy spirit either, using his body like a slide! LOL. So yeah, I'll continue with Thestrals. Just like thestrals, this thread looks dark and creepy but it is what might help me reach the heights. It is such paradoxes that amuse and sooth the human mind, aint it? A relief that sinister looking things might also have some good in them. If i be with this thread and give it what it requires, it will take me places..! Or maybe not. But atleast it won't try to gobble me up!
Thankfully the snapped strands demand much more, aren't that weak, and have held on tight!
Its how you look at things, really! Isn't it?
My head is filled with a lot of internal noise. I cannot distinguish it from the noise outside.
A lot of noise outside. A lot of strands snapping. Thread-strands that connect me to the various aspects of my life. Many of these are snapping. Each strand snaps one by one. With each snap, all the things that I love and take for granted are getting away from me and I am threatened with desertion. Friends, family, hobbies. Strand by strand, thread by thread, they're all getting weak.
One thread seems to be stronger, much stronger than the others... It seems to be taking up all the time. So much so that it is not a thread anymore, but has turned into a giant serpent that threatens to swallow me if I lose control. Sadly it is what gives me my roti and kapda (not yet makaan). So the 'need' to tame this giant.
I'd like to think of it as a huge thestral (black-winged creepy horse-like animals, again, if you had to read this to understand it, go scold yourself for not reading harry potter!) I have to ride and reach the skies! Cause I can't particularly ride a serpent right, it would be really funny! I'd sit on its neck and slide right down! And obviously the serpent wouldn't take it in a happy spirit either, using his body like a slide! LOL. So yeah, I'll continue with Thestrals. Just like thestrals, this thread looks dark and creepy but it is what might help me reach the heights. It is such paradoxes that amuse and sooth the human mind, aint it? A relief that sinister looking things might also have some good in them. If i be with this thread and give it what it requires, it will take me places..! Or maybe not. But atleast it won't try to gobble me up!
Thankfully the snapped strands demand much more, aren't that weak, and have held on tight!
Its how you look at things, really! Isn't it?
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooong day!
got back home just a few minutes ago..was at the Landmark forum evening session for assisting. the evening started at 7:30 and continued till 11:30..
it means i devoted this time to be part of a support system for a great evening, without which the evening cannot thrive. What i took back from it is my ability to share about what i got from my forum with complete strangers!
ALso the fact that i got stopped by people's reasons, when it came to people's registration, i gave up on their reasons, never got their concerns, and pacified my self with being content that i did not end up pressurizing them.
I revisited my guest lecture and my landmark forum evening tonight and that for me was a refresher! :)
it means i devoted this time to be part of a support system for a great evening, without which the evening cannot thrive. What i took back from it is my ability to share about what i got from my forum with complete strangers!
ALso the fact that i got stopped by people's reasons, when it came to people's registration, i gave up on their reasons, never got their concerns, and pacified my self with being content that i did not end up pressurizing them.
I revisited my guest lecture and my landmark forum evening tonight and that for me was a refresher! :)
Monday, June 8, 2009
That satellite called Moon...
I hate going back home after 8...I'd have love to Apparate (a process of appearing and disappearing in and out of places to shorten travel time - if u had to read the meaning in these brackets, go scold urself for not reading harry potter!) back home in such cases !
Even then, I feel good that I've completed a certain share of work in that 1 and a 1/2 hour of my life that I give to my work.
On a regular night, I would have been utterly tired trying to fit my legs in my Co. bus with aweful legspace for ppl like me (yeah i got long legs..and don't make fun of that!) ...
But the sky I witnessed made me forget all my exhaustion! A clear blue-gray canvas held the only spot of white space in it, like the white spot was a prince and the canvas its satin carpet, on which it lay lazily, yet majestically.. as if hundred million laps came together to make their only baby sleep..
I looked at this beautiful sight and was amazed at how much sky i got to see at once in Mumbai! I was shocked! I always complained of the skyscrapers eating up on the amount of sky for me to gaze. And yet, here it was in the most unthinkable places..the chembur-mankhurd road.
The next I looked at the moon, a wisp of cloud formed under it which made it looked like a grey hairy puppy playing with its favorite white shiny ball..and I laughed at my own childishness...but nevertheless, what i'd conjured was a playful sight!
The moon kept me company till the Vashi bridge and thats when it turned prettier... I did not know a little change of background could make so much of a difference. The water sprinkled with the moonlight was a sight to see..!! (but not to be enjoyed alone..). I enjoyed the sight till i started seeing familiar shapes of streetlights, the toll naka and buildings enter the canvas..and thats when my revierie was broken..but the pleasure remained.
the bus reached my starting point for another journey...time to catch the 9:04 PL!!! time to be home! Run Hemangi Run!
Even then, I feel good that I've completed a certain share of work in that 1 and a 1/2 hour of my life that I give to my work.
On a regular night, I would have been utterly tired trying to fit my legs in my Co. bus with aweful legspace for ppl like me (yeah i got long legs..and don't make fun of that!) ...
But the sky I witnessed made me forget all my exhaustion! A clear blue-gray canvas held the only spot of white space in it, like the white spot was a prince and the canvas its satin carpet, on which it lay lazily, yet majestically.. as if hundred million laps came together to make their only baby sleep..
I looked at this beautiful sight and was amazed at how much sky i got to see at once in Mumbai! I was shocked! I always complained of the skyscrapers eating up on the amount of sky for me to gaze. And yet, here it was in the most unthinkable places..the chembur-mankhurd road.
The next I looked at the moon, a wisp of cloud formed under it which made it looked like a grey hairy puppy playing with its favorite white shiny ball..and I laughed at my own childishness...but nevertheless, what i'd conjured was a playful sight!
The moon kept me company till the Vashi bridge and thats when it turned prettier... I did not know a little change of background could make so much of a difference. The water sprinkled with the moonlight was a sight to see..!! (but not to be enjoyed alone..). I enjoyed the sight till i started seeing familiar shapes of streetlights, the toll naka and buildings enter the canvas..and thats when my revierie was broken..but the pleasure remained.
the bus reached my starting point for another journey...time to catch the 9:04 PL!!! time to be home! Run Hemangi Run!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Be on track..
Having this weird feeling in my mind/heart (wherever)..that feeling called 'Guilt'...
Wel, there was no need to feel guilty, whatever i'd done was my responsibility...and no one but me was responsible for it..
I stop using guilt to not take responsibility of my own actions...I'm just making a big deal out of it...its rightly said - the more you think, the more meaning you make, the more convoluted it becomes and the more lost you get.
So yeah, be connected to reality, don't make meaning, and you'll be on track .. sounds good..
Wel, there was no need to feel guilty, whatever i'd done was my responsibility...and no one but me was responsible for it..
I stop using guilt to not take responsibility of my own actions...I'm just making a big deal out of it...its rightly said - the more you think, the more meaning you make, the more convoluted it becomes and the more lost you get.
So yeah, be connected to reality, don't make meaning, and you'll be on track .. sounds good..
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Colors...
The world of colors is brilliant. Its been a long time since ive held the brush in my hand and let some talking be done by the colors..not that I'm a great artist, but it is that feeling inside i get to paint and that id be good at it. I'll never know until i actually paint...
Its not that I've been painting all the while and have suddenly stopped... A Tee i'd painted for a frend is the closest ive got to painting ... that too with some reference in front of me.
I feel originality is very important...until then I'll be just someone who copies perfectly...whats that any use of? Huh?
Its not that I've been painting all the while and have suddenly stopped... A Tee i'd painted for a frend is the closest ive got to painting ... that too with some reference in front of me.
I feel originality is very important...until then I'll be just someone who copies perfectly...whats that any use of? Huh?
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
'Writing'... its a world where u can build worlds, build reality..
Whoever invented language was an oh-so-brilliant artist! There couldn't have been a better gift to mankind.
Creating worlds with our words..is brilliant, isn't it?
Trust me, whatever you say happens - its like the Midas touch...everything you speak turns to reality.
There's just one catalyst you've gotta use.. ur actions. Speak and act - simple, isnt it?
Not simple! Act is where the problem begins (but my detailed analysis [!!!!] has shown, it begins in my commitment).
I spoke to people today. Some, my close friends..and some I had not even met. One was the chairperson of the Clean Mumbai Foundation (yeah, really! such a thing exists!! :P ), the other a ticket clerk at my railway station. What I realised (in hindsight) in both was the background with which I talked to both of them. And ultimately at the end, what i got is what i'd already thought of in my mind. I had thought of getting some information from the tkt clerk and i got that, I had thought of getting support and guidance from the Chairperson and i got that (wel atleast a hint of it.).
Had I thought of something else, I'd have got that.
HOw many more such things do I want in life from people? Day off from work, raise, commitment, time, forgiveness.. (dont read on, it turns into an endless list..)
So many wants and so little commitment!!
Whoever invented language was an oh-so-brilliant artist! There couldn't have been a better gift to mankind.
Creating worlds with our words..is brilliant, isn't it?
Trust me, whatever you say happens - its like the Midas touch...everything you speak turns to reality.
There's just one catalyst you've gotta use.. ur actions. Speak and act - simple, isnt it?
Not simple! Act is where the problem begins (but my detailed analysis [!!!!] has shown, it begins in my commitment).
I spoke to people today. Some, my close friends..and some I had not even met. One was the chairperson of the Clean Mumbai Foundation (yeah, really! such a thing exists!! :P ), the other a ticket clerk at my railway station. What I realised (in hindsight) in both was the background with which I talked to both of them. And ultimately at the end, what i got is what i'd already thought of in my mind. I had thought of getting some information from the tkt clerk and i got that, I had thought of getting support and guidance from the Chairperson and i got that (wel atleast a hint of it.).
Had I thought of something else, I'd have got that.
HOw many more such things do I want in life from people? Day off from work, raise, commitment, time, forgiveness.. (dont read on, it turns into an endless list..)
So many wants and so little commitment!!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Lost
The incessant mind seems to have wandered too far today...cant find its way back...
It feels like Hansel from Hansel and Gretel who had thrown bread crumbs on the way to get back to his home...but the breadcrumbs were eaten on the way by animals and brids.
Anything that Im thinking of isn't lasting for even a minute.. such a traffic jam of thoughts has come after a long time and its not welcome.
It feels like Hansel from Hansel and Gretel who had thrown bread crumbs on the way to get back to his home...but the breadcrumbs were eaten on the way by animals and brids.
Anything that Im thinking of isn't lasting for even a minute.. such a traffic jam of thoughts has come after a long time and its not welcome.
Don't resist, be healthy..
This is my personal experience guys...do not resist anything...
Whether it is your feelings, or some person...
I have tried long and hard of resisting many things but it has done me no good.
Just the other day I was talking to a friend - and she had an intersting thing to say. "Having acidity means there's something you are resisting in your life, which you are not ready to accept."
And I said - wow that sounds really far-fetched. I mean what the hell has me resisting something got to do with my frickin digestion!!
Well, I think it could work this way. When I resist something, all my energy gets sucked into the resisting, leaving very little for other things...
Whether it is your feelings, or some person...
I have tried long and hard of resisting many things but it has done me no good.
Just the other day I was talking to a friend - and she had an intersting thing to say. "Having acidity means there's something you are resisting in your life, which you are not ready to accept."
And I said - wow that sounds really far-fetched. I mean what the hell has me resisting something got to do with my frickin digestion!!
Well, I think it could work this way. When I resist something, all my energy gets sucked into the resisting, leaving very little for other things...
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